Golden Syrup to Make Your Child Obedient and Pious

Bismillah hir Rahman Nir Raheem

My Lord, expand for me my chest [with assurance] And ease for me my task And untie the knot from my tongue That they may understand my speech. Ameen

Make my son an angel, I won't change myself

When I was in college there was a friend of mine in our locality a very good, obedient kid also a Hafiz. Whenever his dad used to meet my dad. He used to ask my dad to look after his kid to make him pious, to take him to Islamic lectures and all that. He was also a good man but he himself seldom came to Islamic lectures and to masjid. It could be due to his busy routine maybe. What I want to say is there are many parents in our society who want some kind of magic secret potion or a golden syrup that would transform their children into an angel no matter if they are devil themselves, no offence 🙊. 

The most important thing while parenting is to remember that kids become what they see not what they are told or lectured. There is no golden syrup or a magic wand to make your child obedient or pious. If you practice good in front of your children they will copy the same thing, try becoming their role models. If you want your child to speak the truth you have to speak the truth yourself. Your child won't start telling the truth if whenever a phone rang or someone came at the door calling you and you ask your child to tell a lie that I am not at home. Similarly if you want your child to offer 5 daily prayers, first you would have to start offering the prayers. 

Think about your families spiritual future 

This worry about one's child going astray is good and it is needed but to make your child a "Haji" in one day and yourself a complete ignorant man is not what is needed. Allah asks to protect oneself first then worry about your family. 

Allah says in Quran

"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded." 

Surah Tehreem(66:6)

A little Quranic fact here, whenever an ayah or verse starts with يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُو (O you who have believed) it means that the next thing is an order of Allah and whatever is asked next, is a condition of Iman if one doesn't fulfil it means he doesn't have Iman.

In a Hadith it is said

It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet (May be upon him) said:

Beware, every one of you is a shepherd (guardian) and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trusts. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children).....

Sahih Muslim 1829

Your kids are not your property they are given to as a trust. So treat them accordingly. 

Devil yourself, want to go to Jannah on behalf of your kids

Some parents beat their kids and make them Hafiz so that they may get them into Jannah. It is narrated in Hadith

The Prophet (May be upon him) said:

‘Whoever reads the Qur’aan, learns it and acts in accordance with it, on the Day of Resurrection his parents will be given a crown to wear whose light will be like the light of the sun, and his parents will be given garments which far surpass everything to be found in this world. They will say, “Why have we been given this to wear?” It will be said, “Because your child learned the Qur’aan.”’”

(Narrated by al-Haakim, 1/756)

The Hadith that the Hafiz will be able to intercede for 10 of his family members is not authentic.

What happens is these type of kids who are forced to memorise Quran and their parent are very strict, in the future are most mischievous and rebellious ones. When they go to college or universities and get some freedom then mostly they rebel against the teachings and a hatred of Islam which was stored for so long in them gets released. So one have to be very careful in training them. If you are pious and you try to train them with the fear of Allah in your heart. Allah helps you and protects your child. In Surah Kahf chapter 18 of Quran when Hazrat Musa A.S meets Hazrat Khizar A.S the last act they do is they build a wall without anyone telling them to do so and without payment. Then Khizar A.S says that there was a treasure of two orphan boys which I protected why because their father was a pious man.  

It also depends on the money through which you feed them it has a great impact on children. Read my blog of Dishonesty easy money, right?!

Don't expect your child to understand something of the Deen in one day which you understood at 35 or 40 years of age, progress slowly. Although you should tell them good things but don't overdose it. I have seen many families who trained there kids the right way and now the kids are better practicing than their parents.

When kids get into teen age their company of friends plays the role of shaping them. Parents should keep an eye on them. They should know what type of friends their kids have and should try to be their friends with boundaries.

Teachers play an important role in the upbringing of a child and in our country the person who can't do anything becomes a teacher not everyone can become a teacher. Teaching is a skill, which we don't understand and as a result we see the teachers around us. The teacher should have a high moral character, he should get to the level of student to teach them. They are busy in making money their preference is money then what will he instil in the child. If the teacher is involved in frauds, cheating and harassment then what type of upbringing will be done by such teachers.

Kids also learn a lot from the TV shows. So keep an eye out to what they are watchings. Disney animated movies are slowly brainwashing the kids into making things like LGBT and other stuff look normal. I would say if you want your kids to watch these animated movies you should watch it with them and tell them what is right and what is wrong in it because they are not Islam friendly.

Most important part of parenting starts even before the kid is born that is to choose a pious spouse. Will write on it in detail some other time.

No Golden Syrup, Teach them good and earn Sadqah Jariya

O Allah! Enable us to see the Truth as Truth and give us the ability to follow it. And show us the falsehood as false and give us the ability to refrain from it. Ameen

Wallahu Aalam